Just another Zombie Concubine....

There is a App for that...

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 01:34:15 GMT

First, I want to say {in my best Sandra Bullock mom's voice from the movie Hope Floats} My cup runith over….. There are not enough *Thank you*'s to send out to everyone that donated to our March of Dimes walk site. I would love to hop into my *Wonder Woman invisible jet* and visit each and every one of you and give you all {{{{ HUGE HUGS }}}}. What, don't all mom's have their own *Wonder Woman invisible jets*? I thought they were standard issued when you became a mom? ;o} All we need is $10 more dollars to reach my goal... please, let me and the girls walk proudly with our goal under our belt in 2 weeks.

If anything, donate to my sanity of walking 3 miles with a wild and wooly *almost* 4 year old and a very heavy baby...lol.

Here is the site, they take pay pal... even a dollar helps babies like Aidin and Adelynn: http://www.walkamerica.org/aidinsmom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am convinced, Sunday nights are cursed in our home. I am starting to think I cut off a Haitian Voodoo doctor on I79 and he put a curse on my home, that no one will sleep on Sunday nights. No really, I am going to write my doctorate on it and make it fact from theory.

Now, Sunday nights are really no different than any other night. Routine is the same, except I do a little more work {myself} getting everything together for day care the next day. Perhaps, the girls see me whipping out the day care bags, secretly meet in the basement and plan out the hours each of them will be up. Another theory I am thinking about turning into fact.

Now for the irony… Baby Adelynn has been sick {cold} for the past week and has been sleeping awfully. We have been letting her sleep in her swing, to keep her upright while doing saline drops and suctioning every couple hours through the night, as she has been that congested. Last Sunday night, she actually fell asleep at 8:30pm and then proceeded to sleep until I woke her at 6:30am this morning. {shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior}. While I was up with Aidin numerous times last night {Saturn was not lined up with Sun correctly causing a bio-rhythm misalignment in Aidin's brain} I kept checking the baby to make sure she was breathing….lol.

My guess, Baby Adelynn was not able to make the meeting in the basement with Aidin on Sunday and missed the memo she sent out in duplicate stating that they were staying up all night. Aidin then decided to make up for it. But of course.

I need to get a new cell phone {currently I am not using one, hence why none of you are getting annoying texts from me for over the past year and a half} and with all the Iphone craze going on, I decided to get one, ONLY if it has the following *Apps*:

If your child is having a Mach 8 melt down in the middle of the store and you want to crawl under the linoleum or leave her in the frozen food section….. There is a App for that.
If you find yourself awake 7 times a night and curse the misalignment of the planets because you can not pin point a actual *reason* for them being awake…..There is a App for that.
If you can not get your kid to eat….. Anything…. There is a App for that.
You want to run away to a deserted island where no one can find you…. There is a App for that.
You need 5 gallons of coffee to stay awake and keep up with your kids… There is an App for that…..{you know, there actually might be one for that}

Rambling of a Sleep Deprived Mother

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:09:34 GMT

I need to start writing in my LJ again, to feel somewhat human and part of society. (I know, shock me, shock me, with that deviant behavior}

Life has made me think about superheroes and the role they play in our society. We’re so quick to praise a superhero, be it an athlete, actor, model, or anyone famous, when we don’t praise the people in our lives who mean the most to us -- the real superheroes.

The people who help us build our character, nobility and moral fiber, the kids and adults who have special needs who inspire and push us to strive, the inner guides that give us confidence, courage and ability to be the best in our lives and to be decent human beings. I know damn well that my girls are by far the biggest REAL SUPERHEROES I will ever know.

You can be a superhero just by being the person you are, right now in this moment. You don’t have to have extraordinary powers, wear a skintight unitard, a mask, fly through the air, leap tall buildings in a single bound, dodge speeding bullets, or have special equipment to get you out of dangerous situations. {Even though that would be uber cool… sorry, that is my geek~dome coming out}

I think the basis for super heroism comes from living your life. What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done? Whatever it is, it took strength to carry out your decision. Strength you drew from you superhero reserve.

I have given directions, assisted strangers, reunited wandering toddlers with their parents, given my time to people and listened to them unburden themselves. Things that I didn’t think were a big deal and didn’t take much out of my day, but things that were a big deal to the recipients. Most of the time, people just want to know that they are not alone.

Others donate time or money anonymously, perform CPR, or save lives in other ways. I heard a story a person who ran across traffic to stop a car that was rolling backwards out of a gas station driveway.

Our superheroes are not really foreign, it is a natural inclination to assist -- proving that the core reason we are all here is to protect and love each other; although those inclinations get seriously derailed at times.

Super heroism comes from a knowingness that in our hearts we are invincible and it exists because a force makes us strive with all we have. It comes from an self-assurance that we can conquer our battles and understand that they are a necessary part of life.

All we have to do is channel the pure force within us. Be the inspiration to others. Be the voice of reason. The fountain of knowledge. The bridge of compassion. The heart of love.

Though it takes super human strength to be a superhero, it is worth the fight to get to the other side of our battles, to ultimately beat the *bad guy*. We already have what it takes to win the battle. We can't be afraid to fight because honestly, we do not have a choice. The fight is laid at our front door steps daily.

Life is chalk FULL of REAL Superhero's…and I raise my glass to each and every one of you. Who knows, maybe one day there will be a film made about us, but even if that doesn’t happen, we know that we have what it takes to win our battles.

11/15 & 11/16.... Bolts meetup....

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 07:18:32 GMT

Hey Gang~

Your local Charger Cheerleader here. As we all *well* know I now live in Pittsburgh from San Diego and am over the moon my Bolts will be here in a week!!! And *yes* I have my tickets to the Charger/crappy Stillerz ;-) game on 11/16.

Know for those that want to meet up......

11/15 - Saturday... lets meet up at Fat Heads Bar in the South Side at 8pm. Wear your Charger best of course... (so I can tackle you with delight). The address is 1805 E Carson St, Pittsburgh, PA 15203 www.fatheads.com and I will be there at 8pm sharp with my Flutie Charger jersey on.

11/16 - Sunday.... lets meet up at Finnigan's Wake (across the street from PNC Park and Heinz Field) http://www.finniganspittsburgh.com/, at 2pm for tailgating. I will be the crazy red head, dressed to the nines in Charger gear.

Hit me up if you need directions.

Just because the love of vampires....

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 05:20:34 GMT

Because I have been rewatching every vampire movie known to man as of late (and a handfull of other fright fest fan favs)....

......what can I say.......

I am a known vampire movie addict and I refuse to seek help
I am on maternity leave
I am up every 3 hours, 24/7, might as well do something I enjoy
It is almost Halloween
And after all The Lost Boys will always be my #1 fav movie no matter how old or how silly it is

I would like to bring you a few of my favorite posters that littered my walls in high school....

Another daughter is born....

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 02:28:06 GMT

As of 8/27/08 at 10:43 pm.... After a very rocky pregnancy, 6 weeks of hospital bed rest and emergency c-section a month early.....I would like to welcome to the world..... Adelynn London.....she was 6lbs 4oz....

Here is a pic of her and her sister, a pic of just her and a pic of me preggo with Ferret.....

Life is good....

*Just like 2 pea's in a pod*

*We rock!!*

*Wee Ferret #2*

What's in a name...

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:20:53 GMT

I would seem Ferret's father and I are at a stand still with names. We seem to veto each others names and not one is sounding good to *both* of us.... BLAH.

We do have one picked out but it is close to Ferret's name so we are not sure that would work.

Sooooo, I am looking for your most favorite girl/woman's name. I am looking for non-standard names. More in the unique or not used in 50 years kind of name.

So, have away... fav girls name.........

An update... try not to be too shocked....

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 18:56:16 GMT

Well, I have been away from LJ land for a bit... but now that I have some time to spare (see why below) I figured I should update for anyone that was wondering "Where in the Sam hill did that girl go".....

Lets see, things that have changed since I last updated 8 months ago:

#1 Thing: I am currently in the hospital (been here about a month) for bedrest with my 2nd baby. Ferret's dad and I received lots of counciling and for Aidin and for what love was still there, we reconciled awhile back. I am about 34 weeks pregnant with another lil girl and been going through hell (in and out of the hospital) with this pregnancy. With Aidin it was a easy pregnancy up until the 7th month were I had pre term labor then my bag broke. That landed me 2 weeks on hospital bed rest until she was born. With this pregnancy I have experienced hemmoraging, kidney infections, kidney stones, uti's, placenta previa that is now a low lying placenta, contractions and now have been on hospital bedrest for 3-4 weeks. Things are looking up though and I am *hoping* to maybe go home this Friday. We will see what the baby, placenta and my contractions have in mind. It would be nice to make it to a full 40 weeks this time. Bottom line, for what I lack in *baby baking* I make up in parenting.

#2: Ferret is doing good. She is now 3 and as I like to say "3 is the new terrible 2". She still has some behavior issues we are working on, but she is still very smart and very cute, which is her saving grace at times.

#3: Still working in the same place, still hate it but it pays the bills and I get 13 weeks of paid maternity leave after the baby is born so that rocks.

#4: Moved to a very nice 3 bedroom in Mt. Lebanon. I feel like the *Clampits* moving from Carrick to Mt. Lebanon. We moved for the neighborhood and school district for Ferret and baby #2.

Other than that, I have restructured alot of things in my life to be a better parent, better partner and a better person in general. After the baby I do not plan on drinking like I did before. Every now and then will be ok, but I have too much on my plate now and have done alot of growing up and soul searching in the past 8 months to be like I was before.

Anyways, I have alot to catch up on on lj... so I will see you all!

HA..HA... no really...

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 02:56:33 GMT

Sorry if I ruffle a few feathers.. as some of my friends this due to just cause (and this is not meant to you)....

But you know what cracks my shit up....

Is *Friends Only* Lj's.....

Bitch... you only have a *Friends Only* LJ for one of a few reasons....

A stalker or two hunted you down (or a scary ex) and you had to switch over.. I have that happened, I understand..
You have burned one too many bridges and you are afraid your past will catch up with the present...
You can't accept your past, to face your future...
You lied soooo God Damn much you do not want your old friends calling you out to your new...
You think you are part of some elite club when in reality you are just losing at life...
You are putting your shit out on the internet.. for all of you that think you have *friends only journals*... um yea.. I have a degree in Computer Science (and Animal Health =-) I read your *friends only posts for my own pure laughter factor*.... no really it is the internet.. wake up....
For work reasons.... follow my lead on screen names and passwords, your co-workers (while clueless at birth to begin with) will never understand...
NEVER and I mean NEVER put in your first and last name on your accounts. This applies to you Myspace users trying to be *friends only* but everyone can *casche* your shit...
Bottom line... being a Computer Science major... for those of you with sad reasons of being *friends only* and not be able to protect your shit effectively, you make me giggle like a school girl....

Peace Out.....

Screwdriver minds want to know.....

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 01:52:48 GMT

So, does a *Nightmare Before Christmas* movie classify as a Christmas movie..... ahhhhh fuck it, I have shown Ferret over (I kid you not) over 30 Christmas themed movies/shows for kids this season.... and she LOOOOOOOVVVEEEEDDDD this one at Halloween, so it is tonights 8pm movie for her.

The ABC *25 Days of Christmas* has kept us chalk full of Christmas movies/shows during the weekends and nights when she is watching tv (usually because I am cleaning, cooking, decorating, being committed, etc...)... I really try and limit her tv intake but between Sponge Bob and Christmas animation, I am losing a toddler battle....

I sooooooooooooooo miss my LJ at work. By the time I get home and done with my 20 million things with the kid and *maybe* read the internet or catch a show it is 1-2am. I kid you not. Bedtime before midnight is a joke. A full time working mom's job is never done.

So in true aidinslevel fashion I will give a bullet update:

Stripper in the closet is still ruffied and ready for servicing my Christmas needs =)
Spent about $500 on Ferret for Christmas between her father and I... can you say I am broke... oh well, 'Tis the Season'.. I saved up to make sure her Christmas rocked.... and it will...
mvkhdkhsfdakjfdsaj (that is Ferret's bullet, I think she said, get me a bunch of Christmas presents, bitches, or it could of been Sponge Bob rules, you never can tell with kids these days....
Work is same and I am debating on transfering out by the New Year...
No plans for New Year... debating on having a get together at my house... who is down?
I miss my LJ family.... boo hoooo
I missed a bunch of LJ friends for Christmas cards, you get me your addy asap and you shall get a card from Ferret and I...
My tree rocks (a real one of course) and decorated to the hill with *silver and gold*... just like the Rudolph song.. =)
Ferret can sing *Jingles Bells* well, she sounds like a drunk person singing but it is still cute.... and she LOVES Christmas lights on houses.... that rocks....
If anyone knows how I can beat the firewall at work post to LJ PLLLLEEEAAASSSEEEEE tell me.... *clears throat* jtmulc
Ummmm, I need to get Ferret ready for bed... so yea, hit me up....

HAIR!!!!!!!

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 02:20:39 GMT

View Poll: Hair color

Jello n stuff....

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 01:53:41 GMT

Here is a LJ update so I stopped getting nudged… well, actually I liked being *nudged* but only in the right places…. =)

Same old, same old,, in terms of work and home….
Had a week off and took Ferret to BooZoo (Pittsburgh Zoo), for that she was a Lady Bug, then we took her to the library toddler haunted house, for that she was a *Baby Jaguar* from Go, Diego, Go. Then we took her to HallowBoo (Idlewilde Park) and for that she was Wendy from Peter Pan and lastly we took her trick or treating for Halloween and for that she was *Alice* to my *Queen of Hearts*……
My Halloween costume of *Queen of Hearts* was runner up to a guy that dressed up as Mr. T (complete with actually shaving his head)……..everyone was in love with my Queen of Hearts costume and I had strangers take my picture….
I need a night out, who is up for the Smiling Moose for Happy Hour this Friday @ 5:30pm?
Ferret is getting HUGE... almost makes me want another…...*almost*…..
Do you ever have the feeling that co-workers think you are from another planet while you think they are a bunch of fuckin drones…..?
I couldn’t be more happy and more stressed being the mommy to Ferret... I love her for her she is and fear for her future.. typical mom stuff I guess….
I have already made my Chargers *bag* for my head complete with #1 Fan on the front…. Come the Hell on Chargers………. Get a grip and take the rest of the season……….
I miss Ben (Bloom) for the mere fact that as much as we hated each other at times, I think it was because we had a few of the same traits or personalities…. We are/were people that you loved to hate…………..
Um, how are you…..?
Heroes is on in 10 minutes…..
I miss LJ at work……….. No, really, I do….
It is calling for snow this week…. Granted it won’t stick but snow for this So. Cal. Gal is still a novelty and while I know it starts snowing in Pittsburgh in November it still seems like it is too early to start snowing…. Does anyone have a fuckin clue what I am talking about…..
Do you ever get the feeling that no one really likes you except your kid or pet and that they only like you because you feed them and they live with you…..?

UPDATE...........

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 23:49:48 GMT

Wow… It has truly been a minute since a post, and since my dear friend jtmulc paid for my lj for my birthday and since enquiring minds want to know………… here is an update for you hookers… (ah, hell I have not called my friends *that* in a minute as well)… so um, yea.. here goes…….

· Life has been pretty good for Ferret and I, thanks for asking……

· Work is work, still no raise, still want to dispose my boss’s body in the Allegheny River…. just like fuckin High School, I am still the misfit at work…. But as usual, I embrace it and bother the fuck out of people at work.. (for my pure enjoyment of course…..)

· GO CHARGERS……… I could write a really long post about how hard it is to be a Charger fan, ah hell, to be a Charger fan in crappy *Stillerz* country, during this very trying season, but I will do this post justice and save that for a later rant……… at the current moment I have one theory for my boys in blue and gold…. *They are playing hard to get in the NFL* =o)

· Ferret is getting Occupational Therapy for her sensory problems (due to prematurity) and Behavior Therapy (for the same MF’ing reason, don’t get me started) once a week. There has been talk of getting her evaluated for Speech Therapy as she does not lack the *list* of words but lacks the *want* to actually speak them.

· There has been talk of AUTISM (such an ugly fuckin word) for Ferret, by her therapists, but the *signs* she is showing (per them) can be chalked up to the terrible 2’s and her quirky personality (look who her parents are for fuck sake). Her father and I are going to get her tested but we agree that the therapists that work with Ferret, work with Autistic kids all day long will find *signs* of it in the most normal kids (as we have been told).

· Money has been VERY tight lately. Rent is past due (a bit) and I have been cutting every corner I can…………I have even cut back on my beloved Blue Moon……… desperate times call for desperate measures… haha! No really, it is tough in this day and age with a child, but I will supercede the stats……

· I am still a text whore, but I have been told that people on my cell friends list actually look forward to my silly ass *5 o’clock text*…….. that makes me feel all warm inside…..

· My 2 favorite people came out from San Diego to visit Ferret and I, and my Great Aunt and Uncle (who live in the North Hills), MY AUNT GAIL AND GRANDPA……… they think I breed well (lol, ok they think Ferret is the cutest thing next to a baby panda) and are very proud of her and I…….. and to tell you the truth, they are the only 2 people in this world that I actually care what they think……. So that makes me one happy camper……….. I told them though, Ferret has to be cute, it is the only way her father and I don’t crazy and take her and the local McDonalds out from *parent craziness* (come on, you fellow parents know what I am talking about)..

· Still loving my Heroes and Survivor…….

· Currently drinking a vodka/sugar free Red Bull…… first one in a LONG time…

· I miss my fellow LJ friends……… much lurv hookers………….

· I have been missing the *female persuasion* of late, I MUST remedy that…………….

· A week or so ago I got a Disorderly Conduct citation for standing up for some people that got in a altercation………. Cops can suck my dick for not wanting to listen to the truth………. I told them *THIS IS BULLSHIT* and I get the citation………. Fucking great!! See ya in court Pittsburgh’s FINEST…

· Have I mentioned how cute Ferret is……… I think I will post a current pic………..

· For Halloween I am going to go as the Queen of Hearts and Ferret is going as Alice……… I will post pics of course…………

· Ferret,, as of lately has been waking around 2am and wanting to stay up until 6am-7am……….makes for a very hard work day the next day while she gets to nap…… Party all night, sleep all day for her……can I blame her, NO… will I tolerate it though, NO………

· Comment if you still are interested in the ramblings of me and Ferret and I will try and catch up with your LJ………I hope everyone is doing GREAT and hit me up….

· I am on vacation the whole week prior to Halloween, hit me up if want to do something………

HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY TO ME....

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 04:19:09 GMT

It is 12:18am, August 3rd and it is officially my 33rd birthday... HAPPY MOTHER F'IN BIRTHDAY TO ME....

A little unknown fact, I was born at 8:03pm on 8/3/74.... pretty cool, huh...??

For my birthday, I have always had an tradition.. I always buy myself an outfit for my big day... So, I guess I will hitting up Slacker on my way home tomorrow....

My birthday plans are as follows, if you are reading this, you are invited:

Today:
Work
Lunch @ Outback at PNC Park at 11:30am
Drinks @ Fat Heads at 6pm
TV on the Radio Concert around 8:30pm or so......

Saturday:
Laundry
Grocery Shopping
Kick off to *Monica's South Side Birthday Crawl* starts @ 8pm at the Smiling Moose on East Carson.

If you need info or directions to anything call or text me at 412-377-7587... other than that, this will be a weekend many of you will be talking for a very LONG time =)

All drunkin and ruffied strippers (*presents of course*) can be left in my living room closet for my pleasure this weekend.....

*** Jtmulc.. you rock for the V gift =)

It is time for a poll you lil hookers....

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 01:34:19 GMT

View Poll: Should I take Ferret to see the Simpsons this weekend...

I have hot, young pussy on my lap.. what do you have.....

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 01:09:21 GMT

Alright, it is a hot little couple month old black and white kitten named Pandora, but a girl can wish.....

I have good and bad LJ news...

Good news is I found a way to read LJ at work but not post yet... EEEHHHH...

Bad news is amongst the pile of pc's at my home and *a good cable connection...BLAH*, I still have a problem posting and reading LJas it is VERY slow doing all... this is were I wave my magic and and summond jtmulc from the depths of *nerdome in Harry Potter land* (um, yea you all know who you are.. I might be a nerd on MANY levels but you 20-30 somethings reading Harry Potter have my white ass beat on the nerd level... but much love.. much love... I have not 1 but 2 dragon tattoos so what does that say about me.... =) ANYWAYS, and come fix my lil prob.... It might very well just be a crappy ass internet connection and if that is the case *I DID NOT LEAVE THE CAR IN FRONT OF COMCAST WITH ALL THE VERY LARGE BOTTLE ROCKETS AND LEFT OVER MOTARS FROM FOURTH OF JULY*.... you are now all witnesses and have to testify in court for me for my character..... *BIG SMILE*.. wear your best suits......

I am watching Hell's Kitchen... boy, I *lurv* that show.. it most likely has to do with all the cursing and demoralizing.. but.. hey, you know me... =)

Other than that I would like to say, for those that can not come out to my my birthday night night on August 3rd, I am preparing a night out in the South Side on Saturday, August 4th... who is in???????

Hey you stupid hookers...

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:00:43 GMT

My 33rd birthday is on August 3rd (a Friday, thank you very much).....and I have tickets to go see *TV on the Radio* at Mr. Smalls.. if you are reading this you are intived as this will be my 333 birthday (born on August 3rd and I will be 33).

No really, if you want to see the wildest night of your god for saken life, come hang with me that night,, it will be off the hizzie...YO!

~Aidinslevel
412-377-7587

The 411... and what not.....

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:55:23 GMT

Alright, alright... I have now been nudged a trillion times and I will post....

Here is the 411....

* Life is same ol'...same ol'....

* I still use {these dots not drugs}........ after everything I say.....

* Ferret is the most difficult yet the most awesome lil' person in the world....

* I am now going to start running 30 minutes before and after work, cut out booze and add more small meals to my diet... I am really unhappy with my body right now...

* Ummmm, what the fuck is seriously wrong with the world... the war, fucked up child molesters, parents driving around with babies on hoods of cars, babies dying from fires and at the hand of so called parents, soldiers dying in masses, and of course my boss.....

* I would like to give a shout out to my Grandmother, Marcellia (aka Marcy) Jone Witt... she passed away on June 30th from a long list of complications of things at a young age of 68. She was the woman who raised me, made me the strong, loving,woman and the good mother that I am today. I went out to San Diego sans Ferret for her funeral and to pay my respects in a traditional Irish way and a tradtional Catholic way. I saw family that I could care less to see and spent a great deal with the 2 favorite people in my life, my Grandfather and my Auntie Gail. I found myself again, out there and I found the most important people in my family again.......It was healing and heart ripping all at the same time....

I Love You Grandma...... *May the sun set for you today......*

* Work is the same....

* Ferret is getting her therapies, talking a storm and becoming quite the little *Nazi* (as her father and I are allowed to call her on her *bad* days).... No, really she is wonderful but quite... um, did I say QUITE the handful... thank you preemie birth..... She has a evaluation this Wednesday to see where we are on therapies.. we might need a Behavorist per the Occupational therapist.. just wonderful... *BIG SIGH*....

*Money is still hurting... Ferret's father and I are the best of friends are are helping each other out 1000% so our lives will be better for our daughter.... we are trying to help each other with the living situation and hopefully will get into a rocking and bigger place in the very near future.

* My paid membership has expired, while I am sad I need to post more to justify to pay for more perks in LJ.

* I have adopted 2 abandoned kittens, brother and sister (left on a construction site at 6 weeks old), and 2 ferrets.

* My old PC was nothing but problems, jtmulc's pc gave me nightmares cause it hates me, let's just say I have 4 pc's in this house and only Ferret's daddy's pc (only here because he is afraid it will get stolen out of his house while it is under construction) is the only pc that I can actually post this and let Ferret play Toontown without the PC locking up... UUUUGGGHHHHHHH>>>>>>>

Other than that, same ol', same ol'... I miss the lot of you horribly... If you need my digits ask me and call me, we will hang.. I am now running morning and afternoon ,if you would like to join me and of course I will add some cute Ferret pics.....

Finger Painting Lovin....

Me on the beach in San Diego....

Nickodemas in the hamper.....

Rockstar Ferret and her rockstar mother at the zoo =op......

UGH!@

Fri, 25 May 2007 02:50:36 GMT

I am trying to make a post to mother fucking lj and it won't let me....

Last Chance to Donate......

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 23:22:19 GMT

On 5-16-05 I suddenly became the mother of a beautiful little girl, Aidin. I say suddenly as she was 8 weeks early and weighed in at exactly 4 pounds.

I could have posted a picture of her on my site taken about 90 seconds after she was born, she seemed so lost in that little oxygen mask. Even though it was designed for premature babies it dwarfed her tiny face... Or a picture of her jaundiced and surrounded by UV light with cotton pads taped over her eves... Or any other record of the trying times in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) that she lived in for the 1st half month of her life.

Instead, I chose to post a picture on my walk site of her today. To celebrate all she has been through and to show how well she is doing.

None of these moments would be possible without the research and technology developed for these harsh life devastating conditions. But there's hope, and the more we find out the more success stories we will have.

We by no means had it easy, but our situation pales in comparison to what is happening each and every day to families out there. And my heart goes out to them.

So on 4-29-07 I'm walking with my daughter and her father and I certainly appreciate anything you can give to this wonderful cause.

Every year, half a million babies in the U.S. are born prematurely. Premature birth is the leading cause of newborn death and many life long disabilities. The funds raised by WalkAmerica support research that saves babies' lives.

Thanks for your time and support.

My personal web page address for donations is....
http://www.walkamerica.org/aidinsmom

To you my brother.....

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 02:44:29 GMT

It has been a year and it still it feels like yesterday when I got the phone call and thought it was some kind of joke... as Dave is good for taking some fucked up shit and making it a pretty twisted joke... but no.. he had a tone in his voice I had only heard once or twice in our 3 years of knowing each other....

It still hurts even though knowing you every day was a gamble and every day was a what if with you... us that were closest to you knew that.. your were a rockstar and you lived as such, that is why we loved you... for your undying spirit granted the downward spiral at times.....

So I sit here, I listen to Goodbye Horses and I am drinking some cheap ass vodka (granted I mixed it with a bit of apple pucker as I just can not drink that shit straight..I just do not know how the hell you stomached that shit every day...) in your memory, since I could not get out to your grave today and be mad at you for not backing up a little, but I knew that was not in your nature, as I have a few skeletons in my closest myself....and I know what it is like to ride that fence trying not to fall one way or another...

You were alot of things to me but in the end you were my friend.. despite....and you are loved and missed sorely....

So here is to you Ben Bloom, some shitty ass vodka and the song that will always remind me of you and Dave... I love and miss you brother...

You told me, I see you rise
But, it always, falls
I see you come, I see you go

You say, "All things pass, into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong, I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

You told me, I've seen it all before
I've Been there,
I've seen my hopes and dreams a-lying on the ground

I've seen the sky, just begin to fall
And you say, "All things pass, into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong, I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me?

Good-bye horses
I'm lying over you
Good-bye horses
I'm lying over you
Good-bye horses
I'm lying over you
Good-bye horses
I'm lying, lying, lying over you!!!!

Of course I am going to chime in.....

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 00:25:34 GMT

You work hard, your raise your babies into wonderful young adults, you sacrifice your blood, sweat and tears to send your baby to college........

.................you do not fucking sacrifice your heart and soul, your creation of life, to the fucking slaughter....

You kill 32 people and injure about the same, you fucking deserve to die... I pray to all that is what I believe in, that you off'ed yourself, because if you were still amongst us.. I would off you my mother fucking self.......

My condolences to the mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters that have lost their angels...

I once knew a lady named
Misery
she lived in a damaged world
she calls to me in transparent dreams

a lonely star
outside
the closed universe

she was my twisted soul

long ago
she experienced
the darkest of
pain

beauty was something
she could not
believe

I once knew an angel named
Evil
she traveled like a
ghost into the shadows

her heart was dying for some form of
life

all will never be balanced
now
the angel burns to
die

Time for a cutting....

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:11:32 GMT

I see now that I am not on LJ through the work day, I am not having many *friends* respond to me anymore.. which is savvy, I wil deal..

But it is now time for the all known LJ cut...

If want to stay aborad the aidinslevel ship,, savvy, if not it was *lj real*...

You know what to do.. list will be cut this week,.... that is all...

Just roll with me here....

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 04:25:53 GMT

I spent 2 year in Bordor Patrol on the San Diego Border from 1994-1996.. Replace *Arabs* with *Mexicans* and you have a slight inlook into th hell and the personal US War I took part of.. it is not talked about for a reason.....

Standing on the beach
With a gun in my hand
Staring at the sea
Staring at the sand
Staring down the barrel
At the ~~arab~~ Mexican on the ground
I can see his open mouth
But I hear no sound

I'm alive
I'm dead
I'm the stranger
Killing an ~~arab~~ Mexican

I can turn
And walk away
Or I can fire the gun
Staring at the sky
Staring at the sun
Whichever I chose
It amounts to the same
Absolutely nothing

I'm alive
I'm dead
I'm the stranger
Killing an ~~arab~~ Mexican

I feel the steel butt jump
Smooth in my hand
Staring at the sea
Staring at the sand
Staring at myself
Reflected in the eyes
Of the dead man on the beach
The dead man on the beach

I'm alive
I'm dead
I'm the stranger
Killing an ~~arab~~ Mexican

Those were the 2 worse years of my life that I have not even spoken but a few words about and for me to get over it, I am going to have to face my demons and that is alot to say, compared with living the coke addict mother of mine, as a child...

It always falls.....

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:50:13 GMT

You told me, I see you rise
But, it always falls
I see you come, I see you go
You say, "All things pass into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

You told me, I've seen it all before
Been there, I've seen my hopes and dreams
A lying on the ground

I've seen the sky just begin to fall
And you say, "All things pass into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

Good-bye horses I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses I'm flying over you It always falls.....

*Ben~ I know we had our problems due to Dave and mines downfall before your death, but you know I loved you none the less... on the Anni of your death coming soon, tis song is for you, as Dave and I used to play it an think of you.....*

For Ben Bloom......

Give...

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 04:31:32 GMT

I could not say this better myself.. OH WAIT... I did say this, but I have the most AWESOME friend and his name is jtmulc ........

Please visit this and help babies out like Ferret and help me in my quest not to have another unexplained premature baby...

I know I have some really good friends out there in LJ land.. please, even if it is only a $1, savvy, but it is my ass out there walking 5 miles with Ferret on April 29th and it was my ass that had a premature baby and lives every day with the aftermath of the fact...all I ask is for is a little support in terms of a cause that is very dear to my heart, as it revolves around Ferret and her abrupt start in this world 2 months early....

Love to my lj friends....

Monica and Aidin

Just another Zombie Concubine....

There is a *App* for that...

Rambling of a Sleep Deprived Mother

11/15 & 11/16.... Bolts meetup....

Just because the love of vampires....

Another daughter is born....

What's in a name...

An update... try not to be too shocked....

HA..HA... no really...

Screwdriver minds want to know.....

HAIR!!!!!!!

Jello n stuff....

UPDATE...........

HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY TO ME....

It is time for a poll you lil hookers....

I have hot, young pussy on my lap.. what do you have.....

Hey you stupid hookers...

The 411... and what not.....

UGH!@

Last Chance to Donate......

To you my brother.....

Of course I am going to chime in.....

Time for a cutting....

Just roll with me here....

It always falls.....

Give...

There is a App for that...